Dream me a dream

Lately, I have had trouble remembering my dreams. It's not what you think. The images are clear, the action linear, the characters familiar...I just don't like what's showing up in that old subconscious of mine. It's been the parade of exes for the past week. Nothing but old boyfriends -- old, no good throwaway boyfriends -- coming to torment me like succubi in the night.

The first was Ron, the ghost of boyfriends past. Then Tom, the ghost of boyfriends past-er. I could list everyone but I feel the breech of privacy, mine and theirs, already...

Needless to say, at first I was all about remembering... actively living the dream, the better to recall it and journal journal journal as soon as I woke up. But after three successive nights of reliving past loves and disappointments, my enlightened self was rather cranky.

I am not sure if the message is in the dream, or is in the pattern of sleep, wake and not remembering. While sleeping (and love life dreaming) I am aware that I do not want to wake -- is this the message? That the "love" is a dream, a phantasm of a non-existent reality? Is the repetition of love dreams not to torture me but to represent a chain, a behavioral pattern of ill-informed choices? And the not remembering, rather than a frustration at not having something to write in my dream journal...is it an expression of my inner agony of repeating the past?

Hmmm....we'll see what happens after a cup of sleepytime tea tonight.

Sweet Dreams,

Morpheus